My Not-So-Perfect Life

Be the change you want to see in the world.

My ask is open for self promos if I can do the same in yours!

If I missed following you back, just message me and I will!

eyeslikecominghome:

a commercial for dominos was just on and i guess i was lovingly staring at the tv because my mom says to my dad “i wish you still looked at me like haley’s looking at that pizza”

(via xxanythingandeverythingxx)

May 22nd, 2013 • 22,025 notes
“HONEY”“WHAT”“WHERE’S MY SPEECH NOTES”“WHAT”“WHERE. ARE. MY. SPEECH. NOTES.”“I UHHHH. ORGANISED THEM.”“WHAT?!”“WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW.”“I NEED THEM”“UH UH DON’T YOU THINK ABOUT PRACTISING THAT SPEECH TONIGHT I’VE BEEN PLANNING THIS DINNER FOR MONTHS”“BUT AMERICA IS IN NEED”“MY STOMACH IS IN NEED OF THAT FANCY DINNER.”“YOU TELL ME WHERE MY SPEECH IS WOMAN THIS IS FOR INTERNATIONAL JUSTICE”“I’M MICHELLE OBAMA. I INVENTED JUSTICE.”

kandieddubstep:

getreal-staycrazy:

deathtiel:

But like seriously I DON’T WANT TO PAY $50 FOR A BRA 

IT IS A BOOB HOLDER

IT IS LITERALLY NOTHING MORE THAN CUPS WHERE I CAN KEEP MY BOOBS

THAT SHOULD NOT BE SUCH AN EXPENSIVE ITEM FOR REAL THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO WOULD BE HONORED TO HOLD MY BOOBS THIS BRA SHOULD SHOW SOME DAMN RESPECT

This might be one of the greatest posts about boobs I’ve ever read.

Agreed

(via beynd-wrds)

May 22nd, 2013 • 200,440 notes

peregr1ne:

my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him

(via leftwingradicalmidget)

May 22nd, 2013 • 48,347 notes
May 22nd, 2013 • 82,622 notes
May 22nd, 2013 • 5,213 notes

callmekitto:

internetfeet:

People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t

Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here”

And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”

THIS EXPLAINS THE DIFFERENCE 40x BETTER THAN MY ENTIRE SEVENTH GRADE SEX ED CLASS.

(via leftwingradicalmidget)

May 22nd, 2013 • 42,593 notes

rnilkbreath:

rnilkbreath:

rnilkbreath:

rnilkbreath:

i was supposed to go to bed an hour ago dont tell my mom

image

my mom says i have to go to bed now which one of u meaners told

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who the fudge changed ‘fudgers’ to ‘meaners’

WHO CHANGED IT FROM FUCKERS TO FUDGERS I WILL KILL THE POPSICLE DONT TESTICLE ME HIPPOPOTAMUS.

(via petcanadian)

May 22nd, 2013 • 194,381 notes
forevercryingbecausemerlin: so-many-ships-so-little-time: kingofkop7: the-girl-silhouette: vegandthelike: Please read this**** If a thief forces you to take money from an ATM, do not argue or resist. What you should do is punch your pin in reverse. EX: if your pin is 1234 you punch 4321. The moment you punch in the reverse, the money will come out but will be stuck in the machine and the machine will immediately alert the police without the theif’s knowledge. Every ATM has this feature. Reblog this so everyone knows, this happens all the time especially in the city tumblr teaches me so much more than anyone else does about life situations In my country we have a bank with 8 digits pin but what if your pin backwards is someone elses pin and you just get their money…? that’s not how atms work oh my god you use your own card
girlatsunrise: virtualjew: The Breakfast Club this is the best thing i have seen all day ok getting out of bed this morning was worth it now

themadhannibal:

Why do my parents yell at me for not fucking cleaning my room like I could be out doing crystal fucking meth and banging 7 people at once but all I do is run a blog, watch movies, eat food, use the bathroom and occasionally ask them to drive me somewhere I’m not that hard to care for. 

(Source: jolllyrodger, via petcanadian)

May 22nd, 2013 • 68,373 notes
May 22nd, 2013 • 314,868 notes

clubbedsoda:

“you’re denying it so it must be true!”
NO IM DENYING IT BECAUSE ITS FALSE MOTHERFUCKER

(via leftwingradicalmidget)

May 22nd, 2013 • 5,508 notes